I was a gift from someone who's totally into you. I also happen to be very beautiful and worth quite a bit. I know that you're gaga for me because you flaunt me to your friends daily, turning me in the light and cooing about my carat weight. ooh la la! Also, you nearly got into a car accident after staring at me too long while driving that one time. Remember? So I don't mean to be rude, and forgive me for asking, but if you love me then why you wanna treat me so bad?
I am a fine fine fine piece of jewelry, painstakingly created from precious metal and gemstones and toiled over for many hours by hand. I've been seriously considered at every step of my evolution... am I the right size and shape? Is my structure perfectly perfect? Am I sparkly in the right places and smooth in the rest? Am I unique and thought provoking? You better believe it, buddy.
You know, if I were an actress, I'd be Meryl Streep for sure. If I were a car? I'll go ahead and say it, I'm the Aston Martin of fine jewelry. I'm sure you agree, obvs. So let me ask you, would you drive an Aston Martin every day and never change the oil? Would you drive it through the steaming hot desert and not suds it up afterward? Get a dent and not fix it? I think not.
Just like an expensive ride, I need a bit of maintenance to stay fabulous and not break. My prongs, bezels and other tids and bits need checking twice a year please. If you wear me doing glove-less manual labor (ouch) or while cleaning with harsh chemicals (yikes), or so help me, while you are lifting free weights (how dare you), I will become damaged. So the next time you're laying bricks or doing dead lifts at the gym, cut me a little slack and put me somewhere safe for a sec. You're the best. You might even wash me up in gentle jewelry cleaning solution (one part ammonia to one part water) before you put me back on because you do not even want to know what can happen to your finger if you never clean me. gross. Lotions, perfumes, sunscreens, and soap have chemicals in them that can be corrosive to soft gemstones and can seriously irritate me and you. Metal is relatively soft and malleable and just like granny's ring, metal (be it on the prongs, tips, bezels, clasps or shanks) will wear away over time. When this happens to me, it doesn't mean that I'm a an overpriced hunk a junk. OMG! Not at all! It just means I'm normal and need care. Lucky for you, I know a guy.
The jeweler who made me is The Man. He'll take care of all of my necessary cleaning and twice yearly checkups... at no cost!!! You can prevent bad, bad things from happening to me! And do you want to know what else? If you maintain me, I will give you and your family joy for generations. How awesome is that? Forget about me and it's possible I'll end up a wonky, broken down ol' mess after just a few years, causing you grief and expense. major bummer.
Oh, and while we're on the subject, get a little insurance on me too... it's not expensive at all and can really come in handy if ever an unfortunate garbage disposal situation arises! Thanks a bunch!
Sincerely,
Your Fine Jewelry
p.s. that friend you had coffee with yesterday? Totes jealous of me. Snap!
18k rose gold with 1.3ct cognac diamond
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